8" x 10" oil on canvas
It is interesting the memories and feelings that bubble to the surface for me in Autumn. Memories of moments I thought were no longer part of me. Impressions, ghosts of memories, that I don’t recognize as ever being mine. Emotions that are new and uncomfortable. Feelings of being not enough, of sadness and anger I’ve locked deep inside me, of regret and shame.
Things that I thought were no longer able to hurt me somehow come forward as if to say, ‘Hey! I’m still here! You haven’t dealt with me yet!’. Maybe Autumn is an opportunity to give them a proper burial. To acknowledge them, feel them, and release them in a way that I wasn’t able or willing to when they first surfaced. An opportunity to tell these ghosts ‘I acknowledge you. I honor you. And you are not me'.
24" x 24" oil on canvas
Dying is something our society and medical system look at as a 'disease', something to be avoided at all costs. Yes, it can be deeply painful, especially so for anyone left behind. And as a transition it can also be a beautiful opportunity for growth and expansion.